LET’S TALK ABOUT INSECURITIES
WHAT IS INSECURITY?
The online dictionary explains it as
“uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence”
We all have out insecurities but with some people they are domineering. To feel insecure means to feel threatened , a major feeling of self-doubt , to feel yourself acting or feeling in inadequate way.
There’s some health boundary though where it is normal to feel insecure as we all do, but there’s also a chronic insecurity that sabotage our love/intimate or any other relationships or even also our career or just in general success in life.
The person who entertains insecurities willingly or even without knowing makes you feel insecure yourself. If you are a usually confident person and around some people you start feeling insecure and lose your focus means that this person projects their insecurities onto you.
The insecure person likes to showcase their accomplishments as they need validation for their achievements, encouragement. They do everything not for themselves, but to be recognised by the society that they matter.
Insecure person will not ever feel good in showing their body for example or doing something eccentric as they always think that others are gossiping about them, so their validation won’t be served.
Emotional insecurity is a feeling of nervousness triggered by perceiving yourself as vulnerable and inferior in some obstacles, that threaten the ego.
We all have our insecurities, but some of us have got them more than the others. Even the most successful people, celebrities they also have got theirs. There’s a lot of cases of suicides that confirm this.
Where do insecurities come from?
Babies do not know insecurities , they are been taught having them. So the insecurities come from our upbringing, childhood, past traumas, the recent feelings of failure or rejection, loneliness, social anxiety, negative beliefs about yourself, perfectionism, or having a critical parent or partner.
Where this confidence or lack of self -esteem come from?
In some cases from early childhood where significant people in the child life were highly critical , for example teachers or parents . Bad school or academic performance, recent relationship breakdown, financial trouble , stressful life are all causes of emotional misbalance called lack of self esteem or having harmful and vulnerable ego. Ego needs confirmations and reassurance much more in order to exist and performs well.
What is the insecure person body language?
( I recently spoke to someone and really got mad as she was not listening to me as I was talking to myself, but now I know she is struggling with tones of insecurities)
How do people compensate emotionally for their insecurities?
There are two main types :
What are the most prominent signs of insecurities:
How do insecurities come up in an intimate relationship?
People who are insecure in relationships are always worried that their partner would leave them or they will like someone else, they will find someone better. It gives them a great portion of anxiety, constant panic. And this is not really jealousy out of possessive feelings, but more out of fear.
Here are couple of examples of how insecurities unfold in intimate or any other relationships:
The insecure partner always monitors who are you talking to , where are you going or with other words is obsessed with having control over.
The insecure person would always need a validation and affirmation of their actions – did they do right and how does the other person feels about it.
If the insecure person doesn’t receive the validation of their ego they expect to receive they become aggressive as pleasing takes too much effort .
All those overthinking and strategising of how to get a validation from the other person lead to permanent anxiety.
Conflicts are triggered by any of the elements above or are their consequence.
How to heal the ego and have a successful relationships where you do not feel inferior :
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